Groucho Marx Quotes

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.

Whatever it is, I'm against it.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.