The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel.
A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
The secret of a happy life is to do work you enjoy and then you'll be too busy to know whether you're happy or not.
Some donkeys have amazing luck.
In literature the ambition of the novice is to acquire the literary language; the struggle of the adept is to get rid of it.
It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Getting over an unfavorable impression is ever so much easier than living up to an ideal.
If parents would only realize how they bore their children!
This is the true joy of life: the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clot of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality of happiness, and by no means a necessity of life.
Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.
People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.
I want to be all used up when I die.
There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.
The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.
The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.
The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure for it is occupation, because occupation means pre-occupation; and the pre-occupied person is neither happy nor unhappy, but simply alive and active. That is why it is necessary to happiness that one should be tired.
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
The love of economy is the root of all virtue.