The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration, and inspiration.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

Most new books are forgotten within a year especially by those who borrow them.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.

Walking isnt a lost art - one must by some means get to the garage.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer spac

Statistics The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

Statistician A man who believes figures dont lie but admits that under analysis some of them wont stand up either.

A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended.

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.