Some persons are likeable in spite of their unswerving integrity.
I have often noticed that ancestors never boast of the descendants who boast of ancestors. I would rather start a family than finish one. Blood will tell, but often it tells too much.
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.
Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
The successful people are the ones who can think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.
Bores bore each other too; but it never seems to teach them anything.
The art of newspaper paragraphing is to stroke a platitude until it purrs like an epigram.
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.
Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle-aged person has likely learned how to have a little fun in spite of his troubles.
Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.
A demagogue is a person with whom we disagree as to which gang should mismanage the country.
We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.
In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent.
Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
One of the most important things to remember about infant care is: don't change diapers in midstream.
There is luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel no one else has a right to blame us.
Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
The trouble with the public is that there is too much of it; what we need in public is less quantity and more quality.
Writing a book of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.
By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.
In all systems of theology the devil figures as a male person. Yes, it is women who keep the church going.
There is nothing we like to see so much as the gleam of pleasure in a person's eye when he feels that we have sympathized with him, understood him. At these moments something fine and spiritual passes between two friends. These are the moments worth living.
Fate often puts all the material for happiness and prosperity into a man's hands just to see how miserable he can make himself with them.
Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.