I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around.
I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people.
I'm a devilish kind of person, but I embrace it. I don't try to fight it. It's proven very well for me.
I never considered myself a supermodel or anything like that. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly. I have good days and bad days, and I like when I'm fit and lean and all of those things that any woman likes, but it's not the eye of the hurricane for me.
There's times where you think, 'Gosh, what if nobody ever wants to hear what I have to say?'
I've always had a big personality. I was trickier as a kid. I behaved erratically instead of consistently. I would have tons of friends, and then I would have no friends. I'd be with the cool girls, then the uncool girls. I migrated from group to group because I was bored or people got bored with me. I was very intense.
I'm a late-night host that doesn't want to be tied down by time or television or even hosting.
I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.
Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know.
I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied - so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared.
You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and charismatic and weird. It's pretty hard to take your eyes off them.
It takes me a while to get my appetite going when I wake up early.
I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be interesting when you're doing it?
I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denial to pretend I wasn't born with a personality for divorce. Whatever the opposite of amicable is, that's how my breakups tend to play out.
Some people think Hollywood is shallow. I find that it's home.
The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.
In a relationship, the sum of your parts should equal more than just you by yourself. He needs to bring something new and different to the table to up the ante.
I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.
Every time I had a book come out, I'm like, 'Is it going to be number one?'
I don't have a lot of shame. That doesn't mean I can't feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don't have a lot of guilt, no. I've always been this way. I'm missing a chip.
There are times I felt insecure or not sure: I'm unsure of myself, or I get nervous, but nerves are good. I try and embrace all those things. I try and embrace the times where I'm not sure of myself or I'm like, 'Is this going to work? Is this going to land?'
Once you've achieved success, and you're making decisions that are working, I don't understand why anyone would be second-guessing themselves.
I definitely don't want to have kids. I don't think I'd be a great mother. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have the time to raise a child.
You either become like your parents or you become the opposite of your parents. And I like to think that I'm the opposite of my parents.
When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything.
My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.
E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.
I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself.
Everything isn't permanent, so don't pretend that it is. Everything's supposed to move and shift.
I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.
You can act, or you can't. I'm sure a lot of people who are serious about acting would disagree, but I'm not really worried about them.
I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities.
There's a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively.
That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.
My position as the best-selling author at E! is secure - unless Salman Rushdie develops a show with them.
I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view.
I like the minute when I can get off the stage and go home, and I know I've done a good job.
Great guys exist. They may not be in the package you think you like, and they may not come when you feel you deserve them the most, but they're there. I believe it. You should too. Because now I'm with someone who makes me grow every day. His name is Netflix.
We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious?